ONESHOTS!
by O.oBlueFreako.O
Summary: just little stoires of three cullens being three year olds! Also they bring some others into their little game. one-shot!
1. dollar store and the house

**HEY EVERYONE! I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE THIS FUNNY STORY ONE-SHOT! THIS IS LIKE 2:03AM WITH ME WRITING THIS!**

It was a normal day here at the Cullens house hold, everyone was doing what every they wanted. And it was really quite untill...

"Bella!" came Alice voice yelling. I look over to my sister-inlaw.

"What Alice?"

"I just had a vison!" she was boucning up and down.

"And this was about?" I ask her.

"Me. You. Dollar store. Pony ride!" I look at her with my eyebrow rise. "You know those horse you can ride that's only the head and a stick?" I nodded, she smiled a big smiled.

".Gosh! Can we?" I stood up, she nodded. We jumped up and down for joy that we was going to ride the ponies!

"Whats with all the jumping?" Edward ask us, we look at him and screamed to the top of how lungs, Nessie and Jacob look at us like we lost it when they walk in the door.

"We're going to ride ponies!" me and Alice yelled running out the door to Edwards volvo, Emmett cam running out of the house yelling for us to wait on him. Emmett got in the back with a video camera in his hand, we all smiled and drove off.

At the Dollar store the workers and shopers look at us and watch us as we walk by to the toys because we are so awsome and beautiful! Emmett had the camera going as Alice and I pick out our horses to ride, Emmett stood in the toy aisle.

"Action!" Emmett said as Alice and me horse walk back and forth, then we cam at Emmett togather with Emmett running from us but with the camera still one us. We got stares from every one there, we rode them all around the store even with the workers chasing us. Emmett got him a horse and rode around with us.

"Stop!" yelled a worker, Emmett was behind us and we was running in the aisle were the toilet paper was, so Emmett push every pack of toilet paper off the shelves as we ran by. Thats one worker down.

"Go faster!" Emmett yelled, Alice and I picked up the paste and ran faster but still at human speed. "You'll never get us coppers!" he yelled but was stop by my dad. He gave me a look like he was disappointed in me, I smiled at him has he reach out his hand. We gave him our ponies with Emmett still recording.

"Bella what are you doing acting like a three year old! Your married with a child." my dad said, Emmett and Alice was laughing. "What will Carlisle say about you two?" they stop laughing.

"But..But...But."

"Theres no 'buts' Isabella." ouch the full name. "That was uncouse for! Now go pick up those packs and you two too." we did as he said, Emmett was still recording.

"Wait untill this goes on YouTube!" Emmett said punching the air with is fist along with Alice and I, my dad look at us and we stop and got back to work.

On the way home we was laughing so hard over our little Dollar store trip, but when we pulled in there was Esme and Carlisle on the front porch with a very very mad face. We got out of the car and walk very slow to them, when we got there Carlisle cleard his throat and we look up. Esme shook her head with her hand held out, us three knew what that ment. No camera for a month. We gave her the camera and she walk in the house, we followed Carlisle into the living room. Jasper, Jacob, Edward, Rosalie and my baby girl was all standing there. Rosalie look disappointed in Emmett, Jasper look shock that Alice will something like that, and Edward look well I don't what. Jacob was trying to hold in a laugh, my baby girl was looking at us with a confuse face.

"You three, should no better! You went in a store and disturbed the employees and the shopers! Had _Charlie_ come down there and for him to see his daughter and her in-laws actting like three year olds!" Esme said pacing back and forth infront of us. We look at each other and tryed not to smile or laugh.

"I thought this would come from Emmett but not Bella and Alice." Jacob said laughing alittle.

"Shut up Jake! Like wouldn't of gone down there with us and did the same!" I yelled at him, he stop laughing and look at me. "Thats what I thought."

"Bella, sit." Carlisle said.

"Yes daddy." I said and sat down next to Alice and Emmett. The yelling went on forever and ever, we promise we would never do that again but hey we're vampires. Plus Edward can't read our thoughts because I block him! Mawhahaha!

**NEXT DAY**

It has been a day since that happen and we are so bored! Esme is not home nor Carlisle, Edward went some were, Jasper is out hunting, Rosalie went and took Nessie shopping so it's just me Alice and Emmett at the house. I look over at them and the smiled a big smiled.

"Party!" we all screamed. Alice and me went into the kitchen to make cookies, Emmett went to get the camera. Once Alice and mine cookies was done we took them and glued them to the windows, mess up Rosalies clothes, rip some. Emmett went and put nothing but emo music in jaspers CD cases, mess place his war books and his civil war uniform out some where in the woods. Alice made more cokkies as I glue then to the walls, windows and the ceiling, some on the out side of the house. Painted Edwards volvo pink and spray painted "the pack rules!" signed the packs names to it, put "Jacob was here" on Rosalies BMW, and made a note for Jacob to find in the woods on the line saying that "Nessie was kidnap by Jane and Alec!". Rip some of Carlisles books, destory the house. When me and Alice was done with everything, Emmett got the camera where ever Esme hide it and we tape everything we did to the house where things was. Then we hid so no one knew where we are.

Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Jasper, Rose and Nessie just got home.

"What the heck happen here?" Esme ask walking around. There was a scream come from the garage, and we knew that Rose saw her BMW.

"I'm going to kill that mutt."  
"Who think your going to kill one mutt, I'm going to kill them all!" Edward yelled walking into the house, then there was a wet dog smell-Jacob.

"Wheres Nessie?" he yelled busting into the house and taking the door off as he did so. "There was note left saying she was kidnap by those Italy bloodsucker! Why are you standing here!" he yelled.

"I'm right here Jakie." Nessie said.

"Esme! some one rip up all of the clothes!" Rose yelled from her and Emmetts room.

"Wheres my uniform? And why is my music filled with emo CDs?" Jasper ask coming down the stairs.

"My books and rip and some burn." Carlisle said to everyone from up stiars.

"Why are there cookies glued every where? And my house!" Esme yelled walking over the place, by then we started to laugh really loud. Then every one was standing over us.

"Huh oh." was all we said.

"Huh oh is right." they said back to us, we took off flying into the woods, before we left I heard Nessie ask.

"Why is mommy, Aunt Alice and Uncle Emmett acting like my age?"

**HOPE YOU LIKED IT!**


	2. the list!

**15 THINGS EMMETT, ALICE AND BELLA ARE NOT ALOUD TO DO!**

**1) DO NOT GO INTO A DOLLAR STORE AND RIDE THE PONIES. (ANY ****STORES!)**

**2) DO NOT TAKE ALL THE TOLIET PAPER PACKS IN THE FLOOR!**

**3) DO NOT GLUE COOKIES TO ANY PART OF THE HOUSE.**

**4) DO NOT SPRAY PAINT EDWARDS VOLVO PINK AND SIGN THE PACK FOR IT.**

**5) DO NOT SPRAY PAINT "JACOB WAS HERE" TO ROSALIE'S BMW.**

**6)DO NOT TAKE JASPERS CIVIL WAR UNIFORM AND HID IT IN THE WOODS.**

**7) DO NOT MESS UP ROSE'S CLOTHES.**

**8) DO NOT SWICH OUT JASPERS CDs WITH EMO CDs.**

**9)DO NOT RIP, BURN OR BOTH TO CARLISLE BOOKS.**

**10) DO NOT DESTORY ESME'S HOUSE!**

**11) DO NOT LEAVE A NOTE SAYING THAT "NESSIE HAS BEEN KIDNAP BY **** AND **** " ****FOR JACOB.**

**12) DO NOT MISS PLACE JASPERS WAR BOOKS.**

**13)DO NOT RECORD WHAT YOU DID TO THE HOUSE.**

**14) DO NOT RECORD AT ALL!**

"That should do it." Edward said putting up the sign in the hall way. Esme, Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle and Jacob along with Nessie all step back to take a good look at the sign they just got done making. There was a big crash come from the kitchen.

"Emmett you broke the stove!" Bella and Alice yelled, the other Cullens sighed.

"Better add 'do not go in the kitchen.' to the list." Rose said. Esme got the marker from Edward and wrote number 15 down.

**15) DO NOT GO INTO THE KITCHEN- ****AT ALL!**


	3. Wii, and Charlie's hoouse!

Every thing was fine at the house, Emmett, Bella and Alice have been out hunting today so they wont be messing anything up for a while. I was so embarrassed to call Bella my wife and her acting like that, we all will take that from Emmett because it's Emmett but Bella and Alice. It don't make sense. Nessie kept on asking us why is her mom acting like that and none of had the answer to it, I try to read their thoughts but Bella has block me from doing so. Every one was in the living room while I tryed to get Renesmee to sleep, untill there was a loud crash and yelling. Not again.

"Bella! You broke Esme lamp!" Rose yelled, there was a laugh then another crash. "Emmett!" Rose yelled again. Then the last crash of the night. "Alice! Esme is going to kill you three!"  
I walk down to see what was going on and to see that my wife broke one of Esme favorite lamps, Alice broke a mirror, and Emmett broke the Wii! Not the Wii! That was the only thing that kept me company since Bella was off making trouble with my brother and sister! Not the Wii! It was so young!

"Emmett! You broke the Wii!" I yelled at him looking at the poor Wii, Emmett look down like a three year old that knew they was in trouble,

"Sorry Eddypoo, I didn't mean too! Alice push me into it!" Emmett said if he could cry he would been.

"I did not! Bella push me into you so Bella is the one who push you!" Alice said acting like a two year old, when will it end!

"Did not! Bob done it Edward!" she said pointing at nothing, who was Bob?

"Calm down, we have to get every thing fix before Esme gets home and Jasper to find out that the Wii is broke." Rose said, I nodded and pointed to the cornner for them to go in. They did and stayed there till we got everything fix. The only thing that we didn't get was the mirror and we didn't have time to do so because in walks Esme, Carlisle, and Jasper.

"What happen to my mirror?" Esme ask, Bella pointed to Alice, Alice pointed at Emmett and Emmett pointed at the spot where "Bob" was standing. "Care to explain?" Esme ask again, they came from the cornner and sat on the chouch with Esme in front. "What happen?" Then they started talking all at once. "One at a time!" Esme yelled, she never yelled before untill now.

"Bob push me into Alice, then Alice was push into Emmett then Emmett broke the Wii." Bella said in a smile, she looks so sweet but so evil at the same time. Maybe changing her was a bad ideal and marrying her, I should of stayed away if I knew this was going to happen.

"Alice?"

"Bella push me really hard to make me bump into Emmett, then Emmett fell on the Wii." Alice said, but that don't explain the broken mirror.

"Emmett?" was the last one with the truth.

"I didn't see Bella push Alice into me, Alice was mad because I wouldn't let her play the Wii so she push me and I fell on it." Emmett said, and I still can't read no ones thoughts!

"Rose what really happen?" Esme ask, Bella, Emmett and Alice all look scared knowing that they was going to be in trouble.

"Esme, Bella came in from hunting with a evil smile on her face. Pick up the lamp and threw it into the floor, then Emmett came up behind her scared Bella punch him cousing him to fall over the chouch and onto the Wii. Then Alice came in after Emmett fell walk over to a mirror punch it. Then thats when Edward came down from trying to get Nessie asleep and _tryed_ to help me clean up." Rose said, I read her thoughts to make sure and sure enough thats what happen.

"Edward?"

"It's true." I said with a sad face, why does my wife have to act like my brother and my sister acting that why too?

"From now on, not one of you three are aloud to watch T.V., play games, no barbie moives, no nothing! for a month!" Esme yelled and then walk off, poor Esme. When I look over to the Wii Jasper was there holding it and crying if he could, I walk over and patted his back adn cryed along with him.

**A MONTH LATER**

"Come on every one I made a new IM chat room!" Bella yelled from the kitchen, we all walk in and saw Bella on a chat room that was called "vampire and werewolves!". "Go make a screen name!" so we did.

**Lion&lamb4ever-Edward**

**Lamb&wolfBFF-Bella**

**BarbieRules-Emmett**

**ShoppingYay!-Alcie**

**Prettyface-Rosalie**

**YouBreakItYouBuyIt-Esme**

**Dr.C-Carlisle**

**MyPoorWii-Jasper**

**Wolf&lambBFF-Jacob**

**Lion&lamb4ever logged on**

**Lamb&wolfBFF logged on**

**Redishbrownwolf logged on**

**Lion&lamb4ever: **Bella what's with the name?

**Lamb&wolfBFF: **because it's awsomefine!

**Wolf&lambBFF:** awsome name Bells! Cool chat room too! =)

**Lamb&wolfBFF: **thx Jacob! so Eddypoo whats up?

**Lion&lamb4ever: **nothing and you should know ur right next to me. -_-

**Lamb&wolfBFF: **oh yea! duh! lol.

**BarbieRules logged on**

**BarbieRules:** I'm a Barbie girl, living in a barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation. Come on Barbie, let's go party!

**BarbieRules logged off**

**Lamb&wolfBFF: **O.o

**Wolf&lambBFF: **WTF

**Lion&lamb4ever: **huh?

**Lion&lamb4ever: **I'm getting off.

**Lamb&wolfBFF: **BYE EDDYPOO!

**Wolf&lambBFF:** bye edword

**Lion&lamb4ever logged off**

**Wolf&lambBFF: **What do you want to do now?

**Lamb&wolfBFF: **lets go eggs Charlies house!

**Wolf&lambBFF:** OKAY!

**Wolf&lambBFF logged off**

**Lamb&wolfBFF logged off**

Me and Jake came up with a plan that we will go and egg my dads house, we went and got 12 dozen of eggs and two carts full of those things! we was in the bushes being quite as can be for us being werewolf and a vampire. Once Charlie leaves will egg his house! It was almost time for him to go to work so this should be easy thing to do, I never felt so bad! Okay here he come, he shut the door, going to the car, getting in, starting the car, okay now his getting back out and intot he house. Okay now his coming back out, in the car, putting on his seal belt good thing safty first! And his gone!

"Run Jake run!" I yelled and we ran with out two 12 dozen eggs and nailed the house, windows, doors all over with egg. Then we ran away. "That was so fun!" I said.

"I forgot! I brong spray paint along with us!" Jacob said, so we ran back and started to spray paint Charlies house, when I was done painting a smily face I walk over to see what Jake was doing and in big red words was "Edward was here! =P"

"Oh. My. Gosh! Jacob!" I yelled at him.

"What?" was all he said.

"Good ideal! then we fainlly ran off back to the Cullens house.

**Charlies pov**

I just left for work and then notice I forgot something at the house! So I turn back to go get it but when I got here my house was egged! Who in their right mind will egg the chief police's house! As I walk around the house I saw something I would never thought would happen Edward Cullen has egged and spray painted my house! What does Bells see in this guy! I knew he wasn't right with her Jacob was a better match then him. I'm going over to the Cullens to talk to and his wife about their son, never had a problem out of them untill now and they draged my sweet Bella along with them.

"Dr. Cullen?" I said as he open the door.

"Yes Charlie?" he ask me as he moved out of the way so I could come in, I look at him.

"Your son has spray painted my house and egged it." I told him, he look shock.

"I'm sorry Charlie, I'll make Emmett painted and wash it." he said looking at me.

"It wasn't him, it was Edward." I said he look at me confused.

"You sure?"

"Yes." I knew Edwards hand writing.

"But my son has been here at the house all day with me in the study helping me on a patient's file." Carlisle said, making sure he was telling the truth. "Are you sure it was Edward?" he ask me.

"Yes, I know that boys hand writing any were." I told him, Edward came over to see what was going on. "You! Own me a new paint job on the house and you have to wash my house for egging it." I told him and then walk out of the house and off to work.

**POOR EDWARD, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!**


	4. the list 2!

**18 Things Emmett, Bella and Alice are not aloud to do!**

**1)Go hunting when your not.**

**2)Bella is not aloud to come home with a evil smile on her face.**

**3)Bella is not aloud to pick up Esme lamb and break it for no reason.**

**4)Alice is not aloud to come in after Bella and punch a mirror (****any mirror in the house)**

**5)Emmett is not aloud to come in the house to scared Alice.**

**6) Alice is not aloud to punch Emmett so he could fall ocer the couch and smash the Wii.**

**7)Bella is not aloud to blame "Bob" because he is not real.**

**8)Alice is not aloud to blame Bella for punching her into Emmett.**

**9)Emmett is not aloud to blame Bella nor Alice.**

**10)Bella is not aloud to make a IM chat room.**

**11)Bella is then not aloud to drag poor Jacob into doing anything.**

**12) Bella and Jacob are not aloud to buy 2 12 dozen eggs.**

**13)They are not aloud to egg Charlie's house.**

**14)Bella is not aloud to runway with Jacob after egging the house.**

**15)Jacob is not aloud to remind Bella he has spray paint.**

**16)Jacob is not aloud to paint "Edward was here!=P"**

"That should do it." Jasper said as he hung up the list of things Emmett, Bella and Alice are not aloud to do.

"Hopefuly they will go back to their normal selfs." Rose said as they step back to look at the list making sure they didn't forget anything.

There was something outside the house that made a nosie that got their attention. When they walk out side there they saw Paul from the wolf pack cover in giltter and a princess outfit, they bust out laughing from the sight infront of them.

"This is not funny bloodsucers!" Paul yelled still standing in the sun light.

"This is funny, who did this?" Jasper ask him still laughing.

"Bella, that pixie one and the big one. I came over to get Jake when I was attacked by them!" Paul yelled ripping off the clothes.

"We'll heres number 18 on the list." Rose said walking in the house with a laughing Jasper and very mad Paul outide.

**18)Bella, Emmett and Alice is not aloud to put glitter, or dress up Paul in a princess outfit with glitter. (ANY PACK MEMBER!) **

Rose put with a little chuckle.


End file.
